Love Often Requires Being Unsupportive

Look. I care about people.

I don’t do what I do because I hate people or because I’m really angry at everybody. I care about people.

But, that doesn’t mean I support everyone in what they do.

That being said, my blog is not a “safe space” or an offense-free zone. I want it to be a place of truth, where I intend to speak the truth. And, although it’s a place of truth, it does not mean that I write everything with utterly no sensitivity towards potential readers and no consideration for the well being of individuals.

In fact, this blog is meant to enhance your well being, just maybe not in the way many people would prefer. It’s kinda like the book of Proverbs and how it talks about discipline, “the rod,” rebuke, etc. The wise person will usually take it, and the foolish will usually not. It may hurt, but the wise realize it’s also beneficial.

It’s kinda like that with my blog. I may say things that hurt. Okay. 

Now, the question is: is this biblical? Is this true? Is this what God has declared, and is it not taken out of context? Am I out of place saying what I have said? Why is that? Have I written what the One, True, Almighty God wanted me to write? 

Another question: is some felt offense conviction of the Holy Spirit? Is it simply guilt wrought from a deep, maybe subconscious knowledge that what I have written is true?

Was I right in saying something? And that question can be broken down into several different questions that could answer it, but for our purposes here we will stick with this one question: was it loving? Was what I said loving?

The issue that arises at this point is the definition of love. You see, what I’m talking about here is biblical love. Paul says,

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

And,

Let all that you do be done in love.

1 Corinthians 16:13

Biblical love requires that a person speaks the truth. It requires that we don’t simply support and tolerate evil. We love evil people, we hate the evil, sure. This does not mean I don’t call out the evil or try to tell people they’re being deceived.

What kind of love would let a blind and deaf person keep walking towards a raging firepit? What kind of human being would let such a thing happen right before their eyes?

We ought not tell the deaf, blind person that if he or she really wants to keep walking that way, that’s fine. We ought not say it’s okay if that’s really what they feel like, or that that’s what they want.

Maybe you’ve heard an analogy like that before. Maybe you’ve heard the one about encouraging something to keep walking towards a cliff that they will probably fall off of. Either way, we should probably question ourselves about this: do we actually apply this analogy to our lives? 

Are we actually, by our actions, showing that we care about people enough to tell them the truth, even if they turn against us because of it? And yeah, we gotta be sensitive, gentle, respectful, kind, etc. in most circumstances. But there comes a point where what seems harsh is required.

We should not continue to support someone’s sin or their delusions, or anything like that. Love often requires being unsupportive.

Tolerance is not a synonym of love. Being supportive does not equate with love either. In fact, like it’s been shown, being supportive of something can actually be very unloving.

Don’t encourage sin. Don’t support sin. Don’t tell a person it’s okay for them to sin in a certain way because “that’s just who they are.” That’s stupid and wrong.

If someone’s struggling with homosexual desires, we shouldn’t tell them it’s okay to act on them and support them in that. We should help them fight those desires, just like you’d help a meth addict get off of meth or a porn addict get off of porn. You don’t support their meth or porn use! You try to help them away from it!

So if my words ever seem harsh, know that I wish to come from a heart of love. Real love. Love like a father who beats his kid that stole something because he doesn’t want his kid to do it again. Because he loves him.

So if my words hurt, it doesn’t necessarily make them wrong.

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

2 Corinthians 13:5

Examine your own faith— are you truly following Jesus?

Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.

Proverbs 4:26

Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord!

Lamentations 3:40

We ought to compare our lives to Scripture— and not merely parts of our lives, but rather every aspect of our lives. Every area. Every nook and cranny. And I’ll admit, I probably haven’t done too well at applying this. That doesn’t excuse any of us though.

Are we truly walking in love? Or are we walking with a twisted version of love that the world has poisoned? That Satan has corrupted?

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Let us examine our ways, ponder our paths, and think about our lives. How do we measure up to Scripture? How do we measure up to Christ? Are we following God’s commands, are we following the way of wisdom?

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

Ephesians 5:15-17

Love may not mean what you think it means. 

And have mercy on those who doubt;save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh.

Jude 1:22-23

All glory to God forever. Amen.

All direct verse quotations are taken from the ESV

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